I'd rather date a giant squid!
by alrightthereevans
Summary: Lily Evans has had enough of stupid James Bloody Potter. His ridiculous pranks with his friends do nothing but cause her trouble. And that stupid smirk of his just made her want to punch him right in the nose. The wonderful tale of how Lily and James Potter came to be...
1. Chapter 1

_**A/N:** Hello again everyone! So this is my very first fan fiction. It will be about James and Lily while they're still in school. Voldemort is gaining power and the war is close to breaking out. The story will include the Marauders, Lily and her friends (who will be made up by me), Dumbledore, Bellatrix, Rudolphus Lestrange, Severus Snape and of course, the giant squid. There are more characters but I wont list them all. It's set in Lily and James' fourth year. Italic writing are Lily's thoughts, bold are James's. Enjoy :)._

**Disclaimer: **I own only Bella, Morgana and Emily. All other characters are owned by the wonderful J.K Rowling.

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**Chapter 1**

"POTTER!" Lily Evans screamed. She had had just about enough of that boy and his constant schemes with his awful friends. The practical jokers of the school. The oh-so-great "Marauders" as they called themselves. Always finding new ways to drive her and her Hogwarts professors to the brink of madness. Why must they always insist on wreaking havoc on the castle and it's inhabitants? Pulling their stupid pranks on everyone just for the sake of a laugh. Not that their pranks usually concerned Lily at all of course, but the way they thought they ruled the school just made Lily's blood boil. Especially when it came to Potter. And this time he had taken it much too far.

_I swear, when I get my hands on that foul git, _she thought_, not even Madam Pomfrey will be able to save his sorry butt_

She stormed out of the Great Hall, her face so red with anger, it reached a shade close to her fiery dark red hair. How dare they humiliate her and her best friend in front of the entire school! And its not like they just stopped after one fit of laughter from the students (and some of the teachers to Lily's horror)! No! They had to go and extract a further three more bouts of laughter, each more humiliatingly loud than the last. She was going to hex the foul git so many times that that stupid idiotic smirk of his, could never cross his stupid idiotic face ever again! She rounded the corner at the end of the corridor and came face to face with a very dishevelled looking Severus Snape. Lily's face softened as she saw her best friend.

"Oh hi Sev" she said quietly. When he did nothing but look at his feet nervously she continued to talk. "What are you doing out here?"

"Thought I'd get some air" he mumbled, still not looking up from his feet.

"oh ok." This was turning out to be a very awkward conversation between two people who were meant to be best friends.

Severus was still looking at his feet as if they were a very interesting quittich match. Lily wasn't sure what to say to him. What James Potter had just revealed to the entire Great Hall was extremely embarrassing of course but she didn't expect Severus to act this way. The event shouldn't have had any effect on their friendship, even if what James had said was true.

"I better get back to dinner" Severus said, breaking the silence and finally looking into Lily's almond shaped eyes.

"Oh yeah ok then" Lily said, quite surprised that Severus didn't want to talk to her any longer.

Very quickly Severus walked away, his hands not leaving his pockets as he went. Lily stood in the corridor by herself for a minute, thinking about whether what James had said was true or not, then remembered her reason for leaving the Great Hall in the first place. Her re-newed thirst for James Potters blood returning, she stalked off to find him, ready to hex him so that he couldn't see straight even with his glasses on the first chance she got.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: **_hi guys :). So this is the second chapter of my fan fiction. I hope you like it. I will be trying to update regularly, maybe not daily but at least three times a week. So anyway thank you for 1 review. I know it's not much but I'm grateful. Anyway enjoy the chapter :). _

**Disclaimer: **all characters belong to the marvellous J.K Rowling except for Bella, Morgana and Emily.

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Chapter 2

James sat on top of the Astronomy tower, playing with his tiny golden snitch and letting the fantastic prank they'd just played on Snivellus and Evans sink in. Just the look on Snape's face after the first phase of the prank was brilliant to watch, but the next three were even better! James chuckled to himself at the memory. He was probably - no, definitely - giving to get a detention for his actions, but it was all worth it. James looked around at his fellow partners in crime.

Sirius and Remus were still laughing hysterically at the memories of the event, recounting what had happened in great detail to one another while Peter guffawed along on the sidelines.

"D-did you see" Sirius was saying, breathing heavily, still recovering from his last fit of laughter "the look on Evans' face?!" He finished, immediately bursting out laughing with Remus once more.

This was when James realised that he was in for a lot more than a detention as his punishment for the prank.

His eyes widened as he thought of the fiery red head. **"Oh merlin"** he thought. She was probably raiding the castle looking for them like a niffler looking for gold coins, and when she found them...oh Merlin's left kidney was she going to be mad.

James and his friends had been pulling pranks at Hogwarts since day one and Lily Evans, being the perfect teachers pet that she was, had taken an immediate loathing to the four mischief makers...James in particular. She never missed an opportunity to dob them in for various rule -breaking, getting them into trouble with their very strict head of house, Professor Mcgonagall. It was for this reason that the Marauders did not think very much of Lily, and thought even less of the greasy slime ball she spent her time with, making Snape and Evans the perfect targets for the majority of their pranks.

But there was something about Lily that James couldn't help but like. Her short temper and goody-goody reputation was a pain in the neck, yes, but she was actually very pretty and he was sure that when she was not screaming at him that she was really very nice.

James pondered over this for a moment, letting the snitch that he'd stolen Wriggle and struggle to escape from his clenched fist.

Sirius and Remus had managed to stop their laughing over the prank and were now wandering around the tower, waiting for dinner to finish so that they could grab some snacks from the kitchens before heading back up to the common room. But it seemed that their leisurely evening would not go to plan as a very, very angry Lily Evans burst through the door.

james almost fell off the tower when she came in, but managed to keep his balance. Although now that he thought about it, it might actually be less painful than what Lily was going to do to him. However he kept his cool and greeted her with a cheeky grin and a wink to go with his usual "Alright there Evans?".

Sirius, Remus and Peter stood very still, knowing how unpredictable the girls temper could be and how quickly they could lose their tongues if they did something she may not like.

she was absolutely fuming. Standing at the door of the Astronomy tower, glowering at James with a look of utter most hatred in her eyes. When she spoke, her voice, unlike her temper and her hair, was icy.

"You, James bloody Potter, are the sickest, foulest, most evil human being on the face of the Earth!" Lily stepped forward with each insult, finally coming as close as she'd dare in fear of catching some kind of disease From James. He was much taller than her but she was not in the slightest intimidated by him.

Sirius stepped forward. "Oh come on Evans that's a little harsh" however he immediately regretted his mistake.

Lily whipped around quickly, facing Sirius and giving him her most vicious stare. She started to step towards Sirius, Remus and Peter now, leaving James to relax and catch his breath while he could still breathe.

"And you Sirius Black" she said, advancing quite quickly, a look of madness in her eyes "are just as bad! Potters 'partner in crime'. Together humiliating anyone who crosses their path!"

Sirius looked rather pleased with this comment, a look of pride crossing his handsome features. Lily was very determined to wipe this prideful look off his stupid face.

She pulled out her wand and pointed it at Black. He instantly tensed up and looked cautiously down the end of Lily's wand. Lily smirked, glad that his face now showed only one emotion - fear. she muttered an incantation under her breath, causing Sirius to be blasted backwards into one of the thick brick podiums behind him. Satisfied, she then turned her wand on Remus and Peter and did the same thing. Taking one last look at the three out of four unconscious Marauders, she turned to face the last trouble maker.

Seeing what Lily had done to Sirius, Remus and Peter, James could only hope that he'd have all of his limbs after shed finished with him.

"Any last words Potter?" She teased.

"As a matter of fact Evans, I do" he replied smugly.

"Oh really. And what would they be?" She asked.

"Go out with me?"

_What! What on Merlin's great fluffy white beard was he playing at?! Go out with Potter?!_

"I'd rather date a giant squid" she spat, then proceeded to knock him unconscious.

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**A/N: **_so there we have it! Second chapter finished, please feel free to leave your comments below and favourite, follow and review if you enjoyed it :). Thank you and until next time, 'I solemnly swear that I am up to no good' ;)._

_- alrightthereevans_


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